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Jesus is Super...stitious?

By Dean Nicosia

March  2005

We've all gotten those chain emails, and if you haven't, you don't know what you are missing. Back in the old days, the days of paper, envelopes and stamps, there was a thing called a chain letter. If you are over 30, you know what I am talking about. You'd get this curse of a letter, and it would tell you that you would be forwarding it on to however many people it fancied that day, and if you didn't, you would be struck by lightning. The really pushy ones, told you to go make your bed and brush your teeth after you sent off the 30 or so stupid copies of the useless thing. I never received one of those, but if I had, I would have burned it in defiance. 

You see I am not a superstitious person, for the most part. We all have our own little superstitions, some that we even keep private, and I'm no different, but outside of that, I'm just not very superstitious. I mean, If I was going to be superstitious, I would be so on my terms. I wouldn't let some total stranger mess up my day running around looking for 30 stamps, just because he decided to include me in his insane mailing. I would have burned a chain letter in a hurry, and if I felt motivated enough, I would have sent a return letter telling the sender what he or she could do with that letter. But that's just me. 

Mind you, I'm not making fun of superstitious people, I really don't like making fun of anyone else's customs or beliefs. Just keep it out of my mailbox, and please don't expect me to work for your superstition, annoying all of my friends with your latest idea of "good luck or else". I mean heck, I'm a Christian, I'm sure there are many people who think that's pretty funny, but one thing that I don't do, is try to force Christ down people's throats, or believe in these TV preacher guys that say you are going to Hell unless you give them a bigger share of your paycheck than uncle Sam takes. I believe in Christ and I'm proud of it, but I don't send you leaflets and tell you to copy and send them to everyone you know or you're legs will snap in two. Or better yet, tell you that if you do pass out the leaflet to everyone you know, that you will win the lottery. Nah, I just believe, and that's my thing, like my taste for Italian food, and U2. It's mine and I'll keep it out of your inbox. If you ask me about what I think of God, I'll sit down and tell you as much as you feel like stomaching, but you won't be force fed. 

Now we've got those chain letters back with a vengeance. Back in the electronic form, clogging up your inbox. They tell you to forward them on to however many people the composer felt like telling you, and you will be rewarded, with a new TV or something. And many of them tell you that if you don't, that you will have bad luck. I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to tell the bad luck from the chain letter apart from my normal bad luck, but I guess that's a question for one of these new age freaks that write these God forsaken emails. Again, I'm not making fun of those who forward them on, they are just fishing for hope, or just figuring that "it can't hurt". I don't mind that, I just wonder who came up with this waste of time. Some of these emails even imply that somehow a company like, say Microsoft, will track whether or not you forward the dang email on to 10 of your unlucky friends, and if you do, they will send you a new computer, or something like that. Pretty amazing, but that's not the best of it.

Really, there's nothing wrong with you being superstitious, but these chain emails are voodoo. They imply that if you don't do what they want, they will twist your head off, and if you do, they will make life good for you. That's voodoo bull crap. Don't threaten me with that nonsense, if you're gonna blackmail me, make it good. Don't tell me to make a fool out of myself, with 15 of my email contacts, just so you can get your thrill seeing your email show up everywhere around the country.  Hey if you want to try to force your 15 minutes, go poop on the salad bar at Wendy's, I'm sure you'll make the news, and be talked about on message boards. Just leave me out of it.

 I mean that's what it comes down to, in the end, those who simply forward these cow pucks on,  just think they are cute, or real (that's scary) or just "what the heck". But the people who compose them are trying to see how far they can make their dominos go. They just want to see if they, who have never been famous, can end up in thousands of email inboxes. That's got to be it, because you would have to be a really simple minded, new age screw-up, to actually compose the last chain email that I received. This one just made me shake my head. It took my religious beliefs and combined them with a chain letter in a futile attempt to make me think twice about sending this one. Here is the letter, and upfront I will apologize to the person who forwarded it to me, it's not your fault that it made me ramble on about the "evils of chain letters", really I'll stop soon. You know I believe in God, and you thought this would strike a good cord with me. It actually is a nice prayer, but the whole chain letter which holds this prayer, and the thinking that you could buy a miracle with a simple forward to 7 people, just can't get a free pass by me. I have to publicly criticize this, it's who I am,  and I hope that you'll understand. Here is the blasphemy... I mean letter...

You are my 7 in 7 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way! I'M TOLD THIS
WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes "7 Second Prayer" Just repeat this prayer and see how
God moves!!

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and
bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."

Pass this message to 7 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. You will receive a
miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you Don't ignore and let God bless you

[end of the crappy letter, and who that heck is Bishop T.D. Jakes, I hope he's not making the news for other reasons...]

Well I didn't think twice about sending it, I won't send it to person # 1, and if God wants to punish me for that, then let him have at it. What it did was make me wonder how anyone came to the conclusion that the God that you find in the Bible would have anything to do with an email chain letter. Do they think that Jesus came back, and got a computer, and all of a sudden became superstitious?

Well I don't think so. Jesus is super in my book, but he's not superstitious.

Your miracle tomorrow is waking up, if you are lucking enough to do so, I think God expects you to take it from there, and not rely on some dumb letter to make your world better. 

But that's just me...

And I guess it's just my silly pet peeve that I find these things annoying. 

Go Patriots and God Bless!!



...Thatís just My Slanted View!!