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Sorry for your loss, VT

By Dean Nicosia

April 17, 2007

There really isn't much I can say here, except sorry.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it's like to lose someone to the unknown, and for you to lose someone so young, to a monster, is inconsolable. 

I pray for you, and I hope that God will comfort you, and I hope that someday you will be able to let go of your anger, and forgive. Not for the sake of the monster, but for you.

Life is not fair most of the time, either to the good or the bad, and it's way to unpredictable, while sometimes being way too predictable. But when a monster walks into a college classroom and steals away your daughter or son, your best friend or your significant other, your niece or nephew or your sister or brother, there are not words that can describe it, or in any possible way make it better. 

The only thing the rest of us can do is say sorry. I wish I could make it better. I wish I could have stopped this monster before he got started. 

That is what he is, just to make sure we are all speaking the same language, a monster. A monster with a capital M. He's not a victim of anything, he's not just some loner.  He's not a poor misunderstood youngster who couldn't take it anymore and snapped. He's not to be revered or held up in any such light. He's a monster spawned from hell and that's where he's ended up. End of story. 

So many good and kind people have dealt with the same, some many loners, and troubled people. So many have felt so alone, and hurt and let down. So many have felt different or unworthy, so many with poor self-esteems.  But to hurt another wouldn't have even crossed their minds, because they weren't monsters, they bared their cross and dealt with their pain as decent human beings.

I don't care what this monster's name is, and I don't want him glorified or his personal situation "brought to light" to figure out why this happened.  There isn't a pattern here other than monster leaves hell, inflicts unspeakable pain and trauma on some good and decent young people, and monster punches his own ticket back to from where he came. That's how this story should read. End of story.

I don't know why bad things happen to good people, I image that might be one of my questions for God,  if I get to meet him someday. But I do know that I won't demean the life of the one you lost here, by rationalizing his actions. And I won't accept the opinions of those who try to do just that.

For all of those good people who have ever suffered and endured hardship, and for all of those people like me, who aren't perfect yet courageously carry on, we won't "put into perspective" what this monster did. 

What he did was commit the highest act of selfishness in the most cowardly fashion and all of us should spit on his memory and distance ourselves from his  behavior, and not try to "figure it out". 

I'm so sorry for your loss, I pray for you. And I hope you will be ok. 

God bless Virginia Tech!